


We'll Talk About This

by HunterEnough



Series: Just Another Roommate!AU [3]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-02
Updated: 2019-03-02
Packaged: 2019-11-07 20:40:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,096
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17967674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HunterEnough/pseuds/HunterEnough
Summary: This is a one-shot companion piece to Chapter 19 of Life Changes/Another Responsible Adult. I couldn't stop thinking about Eileen telling Sam that they'd talk about this when they got home. Turns out, Eileen does all of the talking.





	We'll Talk About This

**Author's Note:**

> This is Sam's perspective POV on what happens when he and Eileen get home after helping Cas and Dean with their yard.

Eileen was pissed. 

Not ‘I can’t believe you hired a lawn crew without talking to me first’ mad, she was pissed. Sam honestly couldn’t ever remember seeing her so full of rage. He could feel the tension of her keeping herself under tight control.

Sure, she’d given Dean and Cas big hugs and smiles on the way out the door, but she’d been  _ absolutely _ silent on the way home. 

When she’d gotten out of the car, she’d slammed the door,  _ hard _ . 

Now, she was pacing in front of him as he sat on the couch.

He knew he deserved it. Seriously. As soon as it had clicked in his mind what he’d done, he’d been pissed at himself. So, he figured he deserved whatever Eileen had to say. It couldn’t be worse than what he’d already thought about  _ himself _ .

He’d let himself be so blinded by his self-indulgent ‘protection’ of his brother that he’d tried to keep him away from his own son. 

There was no other way he could see it now. Hearing Dean talk about Ben...How much had his brother missed out on because Sam hadn’t fought  _ for  _ him instead of fighting with him? He could have had a hell of a lot more than a few hours a week, that’s for sure. Lisa probably would have caved with just the threat of being taken to court.

But Dean didn’t resent him, and he was infinitely grateful for that. His big brother had forgiven him almost instantly. That was just the kind of person he was.

Eileen was right. He’d deserved a hell of a lot more than the single blow Cas had landed. His brother’s boyfriend might not actually know how to make a fist, but it had done the job of knocking him on his ass. His own wife had drilled Cas’ point home, and she had not been happy that either action was necessary.

She sat down in the chair farthest from him and cradled her head in her hands. When she started speaking, he had to lean forward to hear her, it was so quiet.

“When Billy was tiny, Dean was here every day. You might not remember, but he cried for hours, wouldn’t sleep, wouldn’t take his bottle. Dean would pick him up and start singing and he’d suck down his bottle and sleep for eight hours straight. For months, the only reason we slept was because Dean put our son to bed. Not once did we have to ask him to come over. Not even the first time. He just showed up and kept showing up.” She paused and shrugged, still holding her head. “He told me once that you were fussy sometimes when you were a baby, and he’d done the same thing for you. Said that sometimes, Ben would have night terrors and that’s how he got him back to sleep too...just...sang to him.”

“I knew something was wrong when he stopped coming over. Billy was only ten months old, and I’ll be honest Sam, you weren’t that good with him. Even after ten months, you were still so awkward with him that he’d just stiffen up and cry harder when you held him. I was at my wits' end, and I remember asking you why he stopped coming, what you’d fought over. You  _ lied  _ to me. I remember you saying he just needed to move on from Lisa. That he just needed some time to get his head on right. I hated it, but I really did believe that leaving Lisa was better for Dean, so I left it alone. Now I know it wasn’t that. It was  _ you _ .”

The word was said with such venom that he cringed. He’d forgotten how rough that first year had been, maybe he’d never known how much worse it was for Eileen. He'd been wrong, this was way worse than he'd even begun to realize.

“You took my best friend from me. Right when I needed him most. Then, I think about how you did it.” Eileen stood up suddenly and turned away from him, as if just covering her face wasn’t keeping enough distance between them. “Every day, your brother was over here, helping us parent our son, all the while he’s going through hell fighting for his own kid. Trying to deal with being kept apart from him. _Missing_ him. For once, for once in your entire fucking life, he asked you for help. And you, you didn’t just say no, you beat him down. Told him what he wanted wasn’t right. Made him feel like he was alone in the world, right when he needed his family the most.” Her voice cracked, but she didn’t stop. “He could have broken. I would have. But he just...carried on. No, that’s not right. He didn’t just carry on, he fucking picked up the pieces and fought for his son _by himself_ and then figured out how to be a good dad _without_ _upsetting you_. He kept this huge piece of himself separate from everyone else, when you know there’s probably a million times he could have used someone to talk to, just so that his precious Sammy didn’t get his _feelings_ hurt. And today, when he _finally_ got the nerve up to tell you about it, you threw a temper tantrum. To be honest, if Cas hadn’t laid you out, I probably would have. Somebody had to stand up for Dean.” She took a shuddery breath. “And he just...let it go."

 

She turned to look at him then, and he wished she hadn't. She just looked so disappointed, so pained... "Sam? Dean may have forgiven you, but he’s a much better person than I can claim to be, and I just don’t know if I can.”

He didn’t try to stop her when she walked out of the room and back out to the car. He didn’t call out after her. What could he possibly say? He slumped back in his chair and dragged his hands through his hair before h e dug his phone out of his pocket and called the only person he could think of who might be able to help him dig out of this hole.

“Yup?”

“Uncle Bobby?”

“What did you do Sammy?”

“I didn’t-”

“Son, you ain’t called me Uncle since you left for that fancy school. Don’t be trying to lie to me.”

“It’s bad.”

“Well, tell me what it is, and we’ll see what we have to do do fix it.”

So he did.

**Author's Note:**

> I know, this isn't the PWP piece I told you would happen if there was a next arrow. That's still in the works. I just couldn't let this go! Sorry for the angst, but you know Bobby will help Sam make it...well, not better, but not so bad. (After he tells him what an idjit he's been.)


End file.
